Maybe we can change the title of the thread to why some men get their cabeceos ignored
Why some women are not asked to dance
- Thread starter Ampster
- Start date
Serious point! The obvious didn't see it, but also 'looked creepy', not my type, can't lead, awful abrazo, predictable/unpredictable - and ten thousand plus other variants from followers.
Skrappy@tango
Active Member
Many valid reasons to ignore a glance (Mirada). She looks creepy, too tall/petite, too old/young for me, not my type, can't follow me, awful abrazo, predictable/unpredictable, etc, etc, etc.
One time I ignored an unequivocal mirada, because the woman looked so brutally beautiful and desirable, that I thought “this can not be for me”. She got tired of glancing at me and decided to walk towards me. This was at Milonga Lucerna, Prague, November 2015. Too good to be true I thought.
One time I ignored an unequivocal mirada, because the woman looked so brutally beautiful and desirable, that I thought “this can not be for me”. She got tired of glancing at me and decided to walk towards me. This was at Milonga Lucerna, Prague, November 2015. Too good to be true I thought.
itwillhappen
Forum Master
As a DJ at a local milonga, there were quite few men of mediocre skill and I had the time to keep a close eye on the door. And so I was able to see several times women peek in briefly and immediately turn around.
It would have been of little use if the men had been a little more numerous or danced a bit more or even were able to dance better, as the number of women present would then have increased. And again some women would not have been asked, some other would have been not satisfied.
I think the only sustainable solution is for women to learn to dance both roles.
It would have been of little use if the men had been a little more numerous or danced a bit more or even were able to dance better, as the number of women present would then have increased. And again some women would not have been asked, some other would have been not satisfied.
I think the only sustainable solution is for women to learn to dance both roles.
WhiskeyPapa
Well-Known Member
I know that’s the PC answer but it’s just not the same—no matter how you try to dress it up. Heterosexual women prefer dancing with men and vice versa... of course brainwashing people DOES go a long way!
or... maybe Germany really is different!
It takes us few seconds to make an impression about someone and decide if we like that person or not. Our brain scans instantly all the information we gather in a life and decides if that person is good or not for us.
Of course, our brain might makes mistakes, based also on our mood or context, but usually is right.
So not everybody likes or considers appropriate for her/him everybody. It's so in life, it's so in Tango.
Of course, our brain might makes mistakes, based also on our mood or context, but usually is right.
So not everybody likes or considers appropriate for her/him everybody. It's so in life, it's so in Tango.
Skrappy@tango
Active Member
The more women in both roles or just leaders, the more men will walk away from tango.
That`s an intersting observation. Why?
LadyLeader
Forum Master
I know that’s the PC answer but it’s just not the same—no matter how you try to dress it up. Heterosexual women prefer dancing with men and vice versa... of course brainwashing people DOES go a long way!
or... maybe Germany really is different!
That's the reason I have to have something extra to offer!
For the followers, I have a cushioned headrest! Mostly dry and always soft!
Another service is for the leaders so they understand the advantage to have me around. When the workshop includes wild ganchos I usually offer myself to certify the followers before they swing the full gancho around their male partner.
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I've seen people do this, I've done it myself. But it's not the total numbers that matter. There could be twice as many women as men, but if I don't actually want to dance with any of them I might as well go and do something else. Conversely, if there are twice as many men as women but I want to dance with all the women and they want to dance with me, I'll stay. Men tend to be impatient and leave if they're in excess, anyway.
In principle, more targetted advertising could help address the numbers problem in the next generation of dancers
Arguably one of the situations that results in the greatest satisfaction for both leader AND follower
Skrappy@tango
Active Member
Natural instinct..!
WhiskeyPapa
Well-Known Member
Except, one of the things I love about tango is that the woman in the embrace often turns out to be a completely different person from what I imagined looking from afar: the beautiful, intimidating, arrogant women I was scared to invite is inviting, friendly, affectionate; the mousy lady is a sex bomb; the lady I was sure is “nice” is really a bitch...
tango has made me reconsider my belief in first impressions.....
I noticed that more and more excellent followers (men) prefer to dance with women who can also lead and exchange roles during a tanda. Which lets ME out of the picture.
We live in different Tango worlds or what?
WhiskeyPapa
Well-Known Member
The truth is some of the best followers are those who also lead..... (but that’s not a contradiction of what i said before)That's the reason I have to have something extra to offer!
For the followers, I have a cushioned headrest! Mostly dry and always soft!
Another service is for the leaders so they understand the advantage to have me around. When the workshop includes wild ganchos I usually offer myself to certify the followers before they swing the full gancho around their male partner.