there must be some way of showing with my whole body that she is to hold the side step...any suggestions on this or other things to do at the side step point would be appreciated..here.
Basics here.
Practice weight changes in place. (This past Sunday I had a discussion with my first AT teacher, and she did a little dance in place as we talked abut how badly this basic skill needed. "You could do a whole dance in place." Course, I knew that, and I think she knows I know. Anyhow..)
Now practice your "side steps", moving say six inches or a foot at a time. Once you can do both of these with your partner try the following...
Begin the motion of the side step. Instead of completing the motion by putting all of your weight on the stepping foot and collecting your feet, stop the motion "in the middle". You should end up with your weight distributed equally between your feet.
If you are doing this well, your partner will be able to feel it, and will mirror your movement in efect "holding the side step".
This is a tangent, but here goes.
You mentioned using a "free" foot to block your partner's foot from moving.
There for a while I did this in a country western partner pattern dance called the Horseshoe, holding for three beats/steps while other couples pivot in place. Here, too, though, my partners could not only feel the blocked foot, but the fact that my body came to a complete stop.
When starting up again I use the blocking foot to push her foot sideways in the line of dance. In AT we would call it a barrida.
Unfortunately, most women think this is too challenging and want to "just dance".