I used to be somewhat purist about not using the arms too, and it's a good thing for dancing in CE to spend time early on practicing without arms in order to clean out bad habits and unnecessary muscle activations, but there are a few areas where using the arms a bit definitely makes things smoother with the #1 probably being follower back sacadas.
Having problems with my wife dancing with other men
- Thread starter Improvisedsteps
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I used to be somewhat purist about not using the arms too, and it's a good thing for dancing in CE to spend time early on practicing without arms in order to clean out bad habits and unnecessary muscle activations, but there are a few areas where using the arms a bit definitely makes things smoother with the #1 probably being follower back sacadas.
opendoor
Forum Master
Unfortunately, I have not attended such milongas myself, so I cannot report firsthand. About twelve years ago I attended two workshops with a tango teacher in Berlin, in which I learned unusual athletic poses, slides and lifts. This teacher also held milongas where people danced naked. He wanted to focus on the sensual, but not the sexual. At the workshops I also met an American psychiatrist who attended the naked milongas. He was particularly fascinated by the cultural differences between the very prudish American and the rather relaxed, open body culture in Europe. I've attached two links:
- "The naked truth.."
- "My experience of attending a nude milonga"
Which just validates that old comment by Marlene Dietrich:
Sex: In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.
And, because it's a straightforward fact, it's not really worth discussing wrt dance. At least from Europe.
tangobro
Active Member
Some years ago there was a nude milonga, or at least a web presence for one in NYC. I wasn't shocked because I'd been to a nude beach in NYC & found the "sexy" only lasted for a short time, before realizing that I was focusing on eyes & faces more than bodies & parts, so I expected the same would hold true in a milonga .At that time there were multiple milongas almost every night, so it seemed to me like it would be a waste of tango time to go someplace that was likely to have very few if any real tango dancers.
There is (was) also nude yoga in NYC. We range from the prudish to the prurient.
(I know the argument - prudish/prurient = 2 sides of the same coin).
Mr. Moustachio
Active Member
For non-bartenders, Long Island "iced tea" recipe:
Ingredients · 1 oz. (30ml) Vodka · 1 oz. (30ml) Rum · 1 oz. (30ml) Gin · 1 oz. (30ml) Tequila · 1 oz. (30ml) Triple Sec · 2 ½ oz. (75ml) Sweet & Sour Mix · Splash Cola.
1. Add ice to tall glass before pouring over tequila, vodka, rum, gin, triple sec and sweet and sour.
2. Top with a splash of cola and garnish with a lime wheel and mint sprig.
JournalInTime
Forum Master
I meant literal iced tea: You brew actual tea from tea leaves and serve it cold over ice, sometimes diluted or sweetened, usually with lemon. The people I work for are in Texas, and as far as I can tell, they drink that at all times. I find it bizarre, because being Canadian, "tea" means hot tea, usually with a spot of milk.
To make that less toxic and more palatable, try 1/2 oz. vodka, 1/2 oz. white rum, 1/2 oz. gin, 1/2 oz. tequila, 1/2 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. fresh lemon or lime juice, and 1 oz. simple syrup; shake with ice; strain into an ice-filled Collins glass; fill to the top with cola. It's still dodgy, but shaking with fresh juice makes it less so, and more than a splash of cola masks the flavor catastrophe.
I can't remember the last time anybody with a legal liquor ID asked me to make any version of that . . .
Tango Newbie
Well-Known Member
Being someone who has been married most of my adult life (roughly 35-ish years), now with a GF, and several kids, I never was without human touch and embraces, so this has never been an issue with me which means I'm not necessarily in tango for the 'hugs' many dancers crave.
itwillhappen
Forum Master
Agreed. For me it's a bit like teenage talk - somehow you have to distance yourself from your parents, also by shocking them.
On a comparable level with dating apps, I immediately got in touch with women - for dance classes. So I didn't need to learn anything for that, just willingness to dance.
If you can dance "proficient" at a milonga, then that is a completely different league in terms of possible "qualified" contacts, in my opinion.
opendoor
Forum Master
That’s ok. I was outside for several years because of an accident, surgeries, recovery. The ones who kissed me the most were the ones who forgot about me the quickest!
Tango Newbie
Well-Known Member
Are you back to dancing?? I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...(those who forgot about you). Lol. Either way, I hope your injuries, etc. don't keep you from enjoying your passion!!
When I asked, my GF said her reasons for taking up tango were;
1.) she has danced since a child and wanted to learn tango because she was disenchanted with salsa,
2.) because she's in a profession (medicine) and life in general where she lacked human interaction and touch, and
3.) it gives her a platform to exhibit her dance skills.
In keeping with the topic of men having problems with their wives dancing, I will say, my GF encountered a lot of challenges with tango over the years, starting with her ex-husband. She took up tango over 20 years ago, a little before that marriage ended (due to alcoholism on his part), and he wasn't happy about her dancing, as were a couple men in her life over the years. So, her dancing has been a roller-coaster ride, but now that we're together and I'm now immersed in tango (because of her), she's very content and happy.
opendoor
Forum Master
Thanks for asking! Yes, I'm back, but more cautious and not to the same extent. I was a tango maniac who danced 8 days a week. Now I go to selected events, dance for less an hour, chat for 3 hours. I often dj so that I can be in the community without putting too much strain on my knees.
1) I started dancing tango because I was unable to cope with salsa.
2) I'm an extrovert, and tango dancers are usually talkative too.
3) Tango was a school for life for me. In tango I learned how to deal with women, before that I was quite inexperienced.
Tango Newbie
Well-Known Member
Glad to see you're overcoming any challenges and back to enjoying your passion, albeit not as strenuously as before. Pace yourself..!!
It's not surprising that dancers have knee, ankle, foot, and other conditions, and it seems to be the 'norm' in tango. Even my GF has some foot pain due to ultra-high arches. Even though I'm naturally muscular (thanks to good genetics), played American football and other sports, run, ride road bicycles, and have tree-trunk legs with strong knees, I think about the possibility of injuring myself.
My GF felt the same about salsa, and we're both extroverts (me more so). I've never had a problem meeting women, but some of those I've met were sometimes difficult or had issues - even my 5 kids would will agree (about their moms / my 2 ex wives) since I'm the stable force in their lives and patriarch of the family.
While my GF is the first tango dancer in my life, 'most' of the other women in my life, especially a couple of them) would probably have a problem with tango (and me dancing with other women).
So...you are really in trouble...this is very difficult to manage it. If your woman wants to dance with other guys you allways going to suffer ...if you really care about her...take that as part of being in a relationshipship..95% of the wifes don't care how the husbands feel. Just don't go with her when she goes dance. Stay home and suffer quitely..
...sorry...really bad news...let her do what she wants...take this as the bad part of your relationship...remember the good parts...if she wants to do something stupid with other man there is nothing you can do anyways. Learning to dance yourself won't help. She still will want to dance with other guys.Pray that she doesn't want to go dance a too much or 3 times a week.
My condolences.
Man
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Reuven Thetanguero
Well-Known Member
The fact that your wife is aware of how you feel about her dancing Tango with other men, and nevertheless is continuing to do that, to me indicates a marital problem. Without knowing more about you two, it's hard to know if anyone is to blame for the situation. I would suggest going to a marriage therapist...
DanceMentor
Administrator
So...you are really in trouble...this is very difficult to manage it. If your woman wants to dance with other guys you allways going to suffer ...if you really care about her...take that as part of being in a relationshipship..95% of the wifes don't care how the husbands feel. Just don't go with her when she goes dance. Stay home and suffer quitely..
Pray that she doesn't want to go dance a too much or 3 times a week.
My condolences.
Man
This could be a challenging situation. I definitely have met a significant number of women who were getting a divorce or who were not happy in their marriage and later got divorced on the dance floor.
I also have met some women who were happily married, and their husband supported them in their dancing, and they clearly loved their husband.
So you can’t use a one size fits all approach, but I do agree that in many cases, it can be a bad sign.