Having problems with my wife dancing with other men

My personal theory is that the most prudish times were actually the 50's and 60's as WWII enormously disrupted society on all levels, and then after the war everybody wanted to return to "normal"
That would hold if the 20's hadn't been the 'roaring 20's' after WW1, although you could take it that the message was received 2nd time round.

From family experience, it was 'normal' in some ways, but it changed roles and aspirations. My parents moved from manual work to 'office' jobs, and a bigger world-view as a result of travel and skills acquired.
 
I hate the head to head exercise so much! It hurts! Too much tension on my neck and an ugly red mark on my head. Don’t even get me started on the ones who think it should be done at a milonga!
 
I've never done this exercise. What happens if your walk isn't smooth?
Our coach made us do the ball/balloon exercise weekly for years. What happens if you screw up any part of it is that the ball or balloon ends up on the floor and you know you screwed up.
A better version of this exercise is to have the leaders hold their hands behind their backs and have the followers hold onto the leaders' shoulders.
The best version is for both leader and follower not to use arms at all. Lean in, share weight, get those arms out of there, and communicate entirely through torso contact. At first, even walking is tricky. This afternoon, we managed our entire vocabulary except colgadas: volcadas, ganchos, boleos, leg entanglements, turns of all kinds, etc.. It only took four years of doing it weekly.
 
The best version is for both leader and follower not to use arms at all.
I like doing the half versions too: only the left side of the embrace, and only the right side of the embrace. I think it helps diagnose where and how we actually use arms. While i tend to claim that in close embrace the arms are mostly decoration and not "load bearing" i think that in practice they help a lot to make the dance smoother and nicer and to recover from problems. Other exercises are having only the leader use the embrace, or only the follower use a embrace - homer called this the "little teapot exercise" because the non-embracing person basically does the teapot thing from the song.
 
That would hold if the 20's hadn't been the 'roaring 20's' after WW1, although you could take it that the message was received 2nd time round.
That is one of the things that i find really fascinating - post "the great war" the tone of the cultural climate was incredibly optimistic. Not in the sense that the things were substantially better, but there seemed to be a sense of "the dark ages are over, we are now modern people, and we will do modern and better things". The response to verdun was "now war is impossible, nobody will want to do something like this again", while the response to hiroshima was "very soon there will be a nuclear wall, and all life on earth will become extinct". One of the things that would be really interesting to do proper research on (or to find the people who already have done proper research)
 
And as a newcomer, that's what I'm seeing in tango; a majority of dancers are people who need hugs, lots of them, and tango is something to do while getting (long) hugs from people, including strangers, until they need to get more hugs from the next person.
That was just normal life in most of Europe, albeit with regional variations. A milonga is a social event with friends. It's how many greet friends, and even strangers - except there's a pandemic with an airborne virus, so prolonged proximity isn't a great idea.

But your underlying premise is correct - most people desire physical contact with others, maybe more as you get older and wiser. A social dance, whether that's a milonga or ballroom social is just one such occasion. And why not? It's generally a safe space, and people learn of the exceptions and they're usually managed in a society.
 
And as a newcomer, that's what I'm seeing in tango; a majority of dancers are people who need hugs, lots of them, and tango is something to do while getting (long) hugs from people, including strangers, until they need to get more hugs from the next person.
Pretty accurate description for many until they become obsessed with the dance itself and it’s mind boggling technical demands!
 
And as a newcomer, that's what I'm seeing in tango; a majority of dancers are people who need hugs, lots of them, and tango is something to do while getting (long) hugs from people, including strangers, until they need to get more hugs from the next person.
Wholeheartedly agree with this premise and it applies to partner dancing in general too. I'm definitely willing to admit that I am one such person who likes lots of hugs and touching.
 
It's a funny thing. I would say that it's not easy to declare a strict cause and effect between desire for & comfort with physical touch and attraction to partner dance.

On one hand, people who enjoy personal contact will naturally be more comfortable in dance. They're also likely to be more social, and therefore are more likely to be interested for that reason as well.

On the other hand, folks can be attracted to partner dance for reasons having nothing to do with its social nature (exercise, team sport, technical puzzle, body skill, etc). And these folks might not like personal contact much at all. But if they stick with it, partner dancing will often bring such people to appreciate hugs and personal contact in a way that they did not before.

I, for example, fall very much in the latter category.
 

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